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The whole life of a good Christian is a holy longing. What you long for, as yet you do not see; but longing makes in you the room that shall be filled when that which we are to see shall come. ... So, let us long, because we are to be filled.
*Augustine
Your worshipers will see me,
and they will be glad
that I trust your word.
*Psalm 119.74
I had gotten disconnected from what had sustained me since childhood - seeking first God's Will. I had, the day before, called a friend, affirming I felt outside God's Will. I told him I sensed I might literally die, if I did not get my life back on course - such was the state of mind and body.
The next morning, a Sunday, and after preaching, I stood before my congregation. I confessed I had been trying to please others too much, and, now, I would be spending time in getting the focus on God's Will back into my life.
I began the process of soul-searching. This included many weeks of prayer, meditation, and reading - as well as soul-searching to access what I felt, what had happened, and how it connected to the larger story of my past. Most of this time was spent alone, in physical solitude.
There were positive changes starting. I could sleep soundly - before, I would wake up early and be unable to sleep. Peace returned - before, I felt discontented and displaced almost all the time. I felt renewed love for Christ and others, including the people of my church - before, the focus had been on insecurities about decisions facing me. I sensed a growing abandonment to God's Will, and from fear there arose a profound confidence that God was working all things out in His ways and time. I was able to relax in trust.
After several weeks, I got an email from a friend. The note was in reply to one of my writings on this site. The words affirmed a new change in me: "God, again, has you FULLY. Praise Him."
I will share a passage of Scripture and, afterward, relate it to this time of Advent-Christmas. I do this, for the experience above is at the heart of Advent-Christmas, and is a process of Nativity that can occur in each of us. I ask the question, as prelude: "What does it mean for God to have you fully?"
26In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, 27 to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary. 28And he came to her and said, "Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!" 29But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. 30And the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. 32He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, 33and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end."
34And Mary said to the angel, "How will this be, since I am a virgin?"
35And the angel answered her, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy— the Son of God. 36And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. 37For nothing will be impossible with God." 38And Mary said, "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." And the angel departed from her.
*Luke 1.26-38 (ESV)
I note some essentials to the process of spiritual fruition, to God having all of you and me. Mary, the mother of Jesus, gives us the model to follow:
(1) Behold, I am the servant of the Lord.
Mary had decided beforehand to Whom she belonged. The angel visited her based on her prior resolve. She had no hesitancy to identify herself as "servant of the Lord."
How you and I identify ourselves is vital, for such says something about our core sense of self and priority. How do you identify yourself?
We each are a servant. We serve someone or something. Whom or what we serve defines our character, our life, our destiny.
For the Divine to have us fully means an final devotion freely given, gracefully inspired by Love. We will not get far in the spiritual Way without being willing to speak, "Look, here I am, the servant of Grace."
So, the start of Grace having us fully is not about us at all. Rather, Grace having us fully is about Whom we give ourselves to first and foremost. And we do not have to be paragons of piety to be given fully to Grace - we only have to be willing to give ourselves as we are.
(2) Let it be to me.
Mary surrenders to a Higher Calling. Not all surrender, even all religious or so-called spiritual surrender, is good. Self-oblation is only as good as what or whom we give ourselves to.
Like with Mary, Grace having us fully does not mean that we know all about what God wills for us and how that will happen. We simply posture ourselves prayerfully, saying, "Let it be...." This releases us into Grace, and Grace works in ways we did not see and with results we could not have managed on our own.
(3) According to your word.
Mary invites the fulfillment of the prophetic Word; she participates with its inherent energy-intent. We do the same.
Not any "word" is worth giving our lives for. Many a "word" will mislead and betray. Often a "word" looks promising, but it is deceptive.
We lift ourselves out of the smallness of our possibilities by a simple submission to the Word. When we say "according to your word," we turn from all other "word." Then, in ways we did not know possible, that "word" works out a Nativity.
The start of this Nativity is surrender. The process remains the same, for often we have to return to surrender. I know I do, and daily, sometimes hourly, sometimes even more often.
Mary was involved in the process of this visitation and its consequences. She accepted a partnership, which she was invited into. We do the same, for this Nativity obedience is not something apart from us, something defying our deepest longing, something we are misled into. This is something that arises from God-Within us. This is why this self-giving is not disappointing and fits the contours of our soul-potential...
"To obey" is to listen to the deepest stirrings of our hearts and to act in accord with those stirrings, believing that God moves there. Such discernment is not necessarily a choice between good and bad; often it is choosing among many goods. What path is God inviting me to take? becomes the primary question.
*Edward L. Beck. Soul Provider: Spiritual Steps to Limitless Love.
So, to begin discerning where you are to surrender, begin doing the good work your soul has a passion to do. Do it, in gladful obedience, and pray Blessing on your efforts.
For a meditation prayer, today, inwardly repeat the words: "Let it be with me according to your word."
* * *
*Quote from Augustine is in Christopher Rengers. The 33 Doctors of the Church.
*Charitable contributions would be appreciated to assist Brian in continuing his ministry. For contributions, contact Brian at barukhattah@embarqmail.com .
*Brian's book of spiritual love poetry, An Ache for Union: Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major booksellers or the Cokesbury on-line store, cokesbury.com .
*Brian K. Wilcox, a United Methodist Pastor, lives in Southwest Florida. He is a vowed member of Greenbough House of Prayer, a contemplative Christian community in South Georgia. He lives a contemplative life and seeks to inspire others to enjoy a more intimate relationship with Christ. Brian advocates for a spiritually-focused, experiential Christianity and renewal of the Church through addressing the deeper spiritual needs and longings of persons.
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